“I Will Give Them My Toys” - Giving With A Child’s Heart

We made another donation trip to the Friendship House this weekend and it reminded me of the first time Paul took Gabriel earlier this year…….

God gave my eldest son a thoughtful, kind, empathetic heart.  My job as his parent is to encourage him with opportunities to show the Love of Christ and maybe discover a thing or two myself along the way.

Paul and I began looking for opportunities to serve with our children this year.  Typically I just set out our donation bags for pick up when we receive the little postcards from charities in the mail.  (Those who know me know how I feel about clutter so you can imagine how often I have bags ready for donation!)  But here was something we could do differently so that our eldest could actively participate in giving.  FBC Carrollton has something called the “Friendship House”.  They accept donations and people in need can go there and receive help.  At the beginning of the week we were going to encourage our eldest to go through his toys and consider putting some in the donation bag.  I had no idea what to expect because you know that for a three year old just SHARING is sometimes difficult.  And we were going to ask him to GIVE some toys away.  Honestly, I wasn’t anticipating more than a couple old, forgotten toys to be tentatively dropped into the bag for the first trip. 

The Monday morning before D-Day, (Donation Day), Gabriel was “helping” me vacuum with his toy vacuum.  I asked him to please put a certain toy in his closet.  He replied that there wasn’t any room in his closet because his closet was already full of toys.  I seized the opportunity to talk with him about giving and put my vacuum aside.  It wasn’t a longwinded or impressive speech because I know a three year old’s attention span is short.  After I introduced this giving opportunity to him, he hugged his vacuum and said, “I will give the boy my vacuum.  And my fire station.  And my new car.”  “Obviously he doesn’t get it,” I thought, “because he likes to use his vacuum, he likes to play with the fire station he just received for his birthday and he just got the new matchbox car this weekend!”  So I tried again, “Gabriel, when we give toys, it isn’t the same as sharing.  You and Daddy will take them to a special place at the church and leave them.  Then little boys will go with their mommy or daddy and they will get to take the toys home and play with them there.”   My son listened to me, nodded and headed to his room.  I followed and watched as he took some trains off of his train table, pulled out a handful of cars and trucks from his matchbox case and placed them on his bed.  Then he opened his closet and began to pull out more things.  I just stared and thought “How am I going to make him understand so that he doesn’t have a meltdown when they take the toys to the church and LEAVE them there??”  But at the same time I didn’t want to encourage him to only give toys he doesn’t play with anymore thereby putting in his head that he should give God his “leftovers”.  So I knelt down on the floor and tried again, “Gabriel, why are you giving your toys to other boys?”   Then my amazing, wonderful, precious first baby looked into my eyes and said, “Because the other boys are sad because they don’t have toys.  But I will give them my toys and they won’t be sad anymore.”  His empathy and selflessness left me speechless.  Before the tears could spill I gave him a hug and left the room.

It’s amazing my husband was able to decipher my watery words on the phone that morning as I told him what was taking place in our home at that moment.  Afterwards I went back into Gabriel’s room and asked him to set aside anything he wanted to give and explained that when Daddy got home they would go through it all and then put them in the bag.  In the end, Gabriel filled a large shopping bag with his toys. 

When Paul and Gabriel returned from church on D-Day, I saw a tearless, happy boy walk through the door.  My husband smiled and said everything went well.  I know my job as a parent is to teach my children, but sometimes children are a few steps ahead of their parents and it would be wise of us to learn from them.

You Can't Put These Skills on a Resume

Since "retiring" from property tax, I have acquired a new set of skills.  These skills don't require a conference or training seminar to grow or expand.  Necessary, on the job training, is provided every day in this work field.

New Job Skill #1:
As my oldest son and I were decorating cupcakes last week, I stood on one leg.  We were not pretending to be flamingos.  One leg was not in a cast.  I was standing on one leg at the kitchen island while icing cupcakes because the other leg was needed elsewhere.  It was at the dishwasher.  My 14 month old realized that he could do more than push buttons on the dishwasher.  He can, while it is running, turn the nob.  This was quite exciting to him because he quickly learned that turning the nob changes the types of noises coming from the dishwasher. Because I wanted to get the dishwasher clean and unloaded I tried the "Distract Method".  With the "Distract Method" you must drop what you are doing and remove the offender from the premises and attempt to entertain him with a toy in another area.  I tried this three times.  Gabriel patiently stood on his stool at the kitchen island and waited for another cupcake to douse in sprinkles while all of this was going on.  Then I tried to hold the baby in one arm and ice cupcakes with the other.  It wasn't happening.  So I moved the boys' little table from in front of the bookshelf (where it was previously blocking David from books he wanted to "read" and by "read" I mean bend or rip) and put it in front of the dishwasher.  David has brute strength though and he pushed it across the kitchen in about half a second.  Finally, my moment of genius arrived: hold the table against the dishwasher with your right foot.  Aha!  I am happy to report that I am now trained in art of icing cupcakes while standing on one leg and using the other leg as a prop to allow the dishwasher to finish its cycle. 

New Job Skill #2:
One day I realized that a handful of "little errands" had accumulated.  A "little errand" is defined as follows: a purchase that requires a trip to a retailer where only one or two items are needed.  (That can be found in the Mommy's Dictionary - Momma Bell v1.)   So I decided to power through all of the errands in one morning.  With both boys.  I mapped out our route based on store location and hours of operation.  Hobby Lobby and Lowes were open by 9am so we hit them first.  We were in and out much faster than I expected and the next store didn't open until 10am.  So we ran into Michaels even though I wasn't prepared with their coupons but we got lucky.  They had what I had failed to find at Hobby Lobby AND it was on sale.  By 10am we had hit three stores and had two successful purchases. After realizing I forgot the stroller we persevered and headed into a bookstore.  We were the only customers in the store and the two workers were enthralled with my boys.  The lady ended up holding David while I considered a book and the grandfatherly man talked with Gabriel in the kids section and watched the movie that was playing.  "Would they notice if I left the diaper bag and snacks with them and went to another store to finish my last errand?"  The thought did cross my mind.  Baby David assisted the sales lady at the register and I managed to convince the boys to get back in the car.  After considering nixing the mall since I didn't have the stroller, we powered through and went to use our Gymbucks anyway.  The second we entered the mall Gabriel asked if we could go to the Lego store.  No trip to the mall is complete without a stop at the Lego store.  Thank you, Nana.  Snacks in hand, I sat the boys on the bench in front of the tv and instructed Gabriel to keep doling out the goldfish to his little brother, it worked fabulously.  Next we headed to the Lego store and once we made a slow lap around the entire store and commented on every item, we headed back to the car.  When we arrived home from our trip I had logged 6 stores and 4 purchases with my two boys in 2 hours and 15 minutes.  I felt like I had just qualified for an Olympic sport.  The key to my success:  patience AND snacks.

New Job Skill #3
Ahhh..... the much anticipated GNO.   A Girls Night Out during the week is typically seen as a nice little oasis to break up the routine.  However, depending on the age of your children, your preparations for your night out may only increase the need for time away.  Icing a cupcake while holding a 13 month old didn't work out so well for me.  But desperate times call for desperate measures. While waiting for Paul to get home from work so I could go meet friends for dinner, I realized I had to get ready with the boys underfoot.  Really it is just David that is underfoot.  He is too young to lock in his room yet and I'm not sure that it is safe to let he and Gabriel wrestle without adult supervision, so he had to be in the bathroom with me.  Getting into everything. My desire to leave the second Paul arrived inspired me to try multitasking.  I held David and applied makeup simultaneously.  Including mascara and eyeliner.  There are witnesses (my three friends) that can tell you I arrived without the evidence of having had a small helper.  The key to my success:  determination and long arms.

New Job Skill #4
I think I'll call this one "fishing".  If you've ever had to pull your three year old out of the middle of a round clothing rack you know what I mean.  My brother was the one who pulled these kind of stunts with our mother.  Shouldn't this kind of behavior be reserved for HIS children?  As I groped around for my eldest I realized I wasn't the only mother attacking the rack.  Another mom assumed it was HER son in there.  "Nope.  This one is mine," I said as I retrieved my son.  She found her son in the adjacent rack.

Thank You, First Baptist Carrollton Family

We tell our oldest son, “Listen and obey the first time”.  This summer we have struggled with that in our own adult lives.  Over the past eight years our church home has been at First Baptist Carrollton.  We served in numerous capacities including spending five years teaching in the youth group.  This church family met us at the hospital when we rushed Gabriel to the ER at 6 days old because he was vomiting blood and then continued a natural flow of visitors/helpers/friends the entire day so we were never alone (and never had to eat hospital food!).  Over these eight years we have “checked in with God” a few times to make sure we were still where He wanted us to be.  The first couple times He confirmed in different ways that we should still be involved and serving at FBCC.  But the most recent time we sought His opinion the answer was different.  It was then that we realized He had been pruning and working in our lives for over a year to prepare us for this - to let go and step out into something new and …… unknown. 

As a planner, organizer and complete “Type A” personality, you can imagine my horror when we realized God was calling us away from our church family with only the instruction to invest ourselves in our more immediate community.  So today we treasured our last “normal” day at FBCC.  Every familiar face that said “hi” or stopped to speak to me felt like a tiny kick in the gut.  “How long before we have this again, God?  This is HOME.”  So I have to believe that although we are sad that our time at Carrollton is over, God has something amazing ahead of us.  I hold to the hope that in a few years we can look back at this point and see how everything fit together and flowed perfectly.  But as we walked towards the doors to leave this morning, I admit I pulled out my sunglasses well before we got outside in an attempt to hide the tears. 

Thank you to everyone at First Baptist Carrollton who has loved on our boys, who was there during the difficult times, who served with us, and who we will still call friends.  I know we aren’t going far away and we’ll still be around, but it already isn’t the same.